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Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood, until they move...
If you have attention deficit disorder, throwing boomerangs isn`t for you.
Those awkward moments when you catch yourself feeling frustrated with your kids for being just like you....
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
It’s funny that old people need handicap parking spots but they always manage to pick up a penny off the ground.
I`m not a father, but I have been called "daddy" a few times.
It’s strange to think that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals desperately trying to get laid.
Nice try "Private Caller", but I wont`t answer even if I know you.
The truth is, men put the lids on jars that tight so you’d need us, we’re not that stupid.
My wife told me to get a real job or pack my bags! She must be losing it! Who threatens someone with a vacation?
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they`re born AND after they`re dead.
Doing something weird and thinking “this is why I’m single”.
My misery likes tequila, not company.
There`s actually a website designed to simulate what it`s like to be the sole survivor of a nuclear holocaust, it`s called MySpace.