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I do not have commitment issues... I`ve been buying the same brand of vodka for 8 years!
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
What do crickets hear when they have an awkward silence?
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
Sneaking alcohol into work is pretty easy, if you put it in your stomach first.
Guess what I saw today ... Everything I looked at. ;)
I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on your bus do not go round & round.
Panick, chaos, anarchy... my work here is done.
I can eat anything in the house unless it was specifically bought for my wife but the only way to know it`s for her is to eat it. Apparently
Walking out of a store after not buying anything and thinking, “try not to act like a criminal, try not to act like a criminal”
Happy Birthday to all those ladies that their men forgot about because it falls on Super Bowl Sunday this year.
I bet if you asked a one-eyed person, they`d tell you it really WAS all fun and games up until that point.
Nobody expects you to post brilliance. Just be yourself, with the occasional intent of bringing shame to your entire family.
Halloween is great because kids just show up at your door and hold out bags of candy for you to steal