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I like the parts of the day when food happens.
What number SPF blocks people?
The awkward moment when you look both ways down a one way street.
It`s just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name...
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
A procrastinator`s work is never done...
If I drank, I`d have a lot funnier status updates on Facebook than I do now. Well, at least I`d think they were funnier.
I like long walks on the beach and drives through Taco Bells drive-thru.
The longer I`m left unattended in the Drs office the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar..... Just sayin
Even if women came with an instructions manual men still wouldn`t read it.
You’re one of those women that my mom warned me about…Here’s my number.
I`ve decided!! I’m giving up my New Years resolutions for Lent.
I never cry over spilt milk. But, beer? That sh!t`s totally different.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me 300,000 times, well then you`re probably a weatherman.
Somebody just gave me a free air guitar..... No strings attached