Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Similarities between BRA and BAR 1. Both have similar letters 2. Both are drinking zones 3. When both opened men go crazy "prove me wrong"
Proposing to a woman isn’t like choosing a life-long business partner. It’s more like hiring your own boss.
R2-D2 from Star Wars, still holds the record for most curse words in a movie.
I`d like to give a big shout-out to all my hard of hearing friends!
All the advantages right-handed people have are cancelled out when we have to do our banking at the drive-up ATM left-handed.
I"m not saying that I am batman, i`m just saying no one has ever seen me and batman in a room together
The first guy who persuaded a blind guy to wear sunglasses, must have been a hell of a salesman.
My idea of getting lucky is having someone else do the laundry.
Why isn`t there a roomba that cuts grass? Probably some stupid law about sending a blade wielding robot out into the neighborhood.
I`m at my neighbor`s house having the most delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home!
Hopefully because of social networking, I`ve tarnished my reputation enough for anybody to ever place me in a role of great responsibility.
There are only two types of honest people in this world.....small children and drunk people.
I don`t care how loud I`m laughing, I`m having fun and you`re not.
Just got done putting up all the garage sale signs. Hope the neighbor appreciates how much work I put into their surprise garage sale.
Keep your friends close and your unattractive enemies closer so you look better by comparison in pictures.