Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I put the pro in inappropriate.
When I`m home alone, every noise I hear is a serial killer
Did you hear that? That was the sound of soccer being irrelevant in the US for another 4 years..
“Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..
Why is it that flies can get in your car so easy, but can`t figure out how to escape with all the windows down.
If the world dosen`t end on the 21st, I sure do have a lot of MREs to gift wrap.
I was planning on doing something today, but I haven`t finished doing nothing from yesterday.
I`m sending a whole bunch of emails to random Nigerians letting them know they`ve won the Canadian lottery.
What if , one day you randomly wake up and realize that you`re whole life was just a dream.
Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I don`t get it. Moving on.
Mom: Clean your room. We`re having guests over for dinner. Me: I didn`t realize that dinner will be held in my room.
Tried to text "playa" but it changed it to "player" I must have the white iPhone.
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
The girlfriend told me to go out and get something that makes her look sexy.. so I went out and got drunk.
Life is like a burrito. If you fill it with too many things it falls apart and then you cry and they kick you out of Chipotle.