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It`s not so much blowing my diet as preventing the fudgesicles from developing freezer burn.
Got an awesome watch for my birthday. It was waterproof, shockproof, fireproof, bulletproof, acidproof, childproof & scratchproof. I lost it already.
"I love Justin bieber" well I love McDonalds but you don`t see me making an account pretending to be a f*cking chicken nugget do you...
I`ve been hiding from exercise. I`m in the fitness protection program.
When you get angry at someone count out loud to ten. When you get to eight, throw a punch. Nobody expects that sh!t.
I`m having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... ok by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
You heard me right. I said:"Lets agree to disagree." It`s much more polite than:"Whatever, bitch."
If you pull the pin out of a grenade, can you put it back in and let go? I`m going to need a quick answer for this....
I`m sorry, I`ll be busy this weekend walking around my house with mini alcohol bottles and fun size candy bars pretending I`m a giant.
You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are…until you hear a child sing them.
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
If by a blow job you mean blowing everything out of proportion then yes I totally rock at blow jobs.
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?
There are weight limits on car seats, airlines, skydiving, military, horseback riding, kayaks, and bikes……how is it there are no weight limit on high heels?