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It´s Friday-O-Clock!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I bet spongebob will get his license before Taylor Swift finds love.
is admitting to pushing Humpty Dumpty, he had it coming!!
When in doubt, take a nap.
Whats the best part about dating a homeless chick, ..... You can drop her off anywhere
Why did you have to take a half naked picture in front of a full length mirror to show off your new haircut?
Dont you hate it when you open a bag of chips and its half full?! Yeah, that´s how us guys feel about push-up bras!!
Dear future husband, here’s a few things you need to know If you want to be my one and only all my life. I will not be an ex wife .. only a widow
I`m at my most likable before you get to know me.
I have decided to stop exercising and just learn Photoshop.
Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.
Me: You`re the prettiest girl I`ve ever seen. Her: You just want to have sex with me. Me: And you`re smart too, I like that.
What`s the point of a highschool reunion? I`ve got Facebook. I already know you got fat.
morning i hate girls evening i need girls
No really I`m fine, I have drugs and alcohol to block out reality, but thanks anyway...