Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"we can still be friend" .. is like saying "The dog died, but we can still keep him"
A beautiful woman could post "My dog just died" and she would get replies like "Well, I`m not dead ;)"
Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
My sex tape would just be called Home Alone.
I`m confused as to whether I`m supposed to leap or hump today.
If I`ve learned anything from Facebook, it`s that you shouldn`t be learning on Facebook.
Why do people say “nice to meet you” before I’ve even said anything? How do you know it’s nice to meet me? I’m a jerk.
You know your old when your back goes out more than you do.
Remember…it’s only embarrassing if you care what people think.
I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.
I just bought an answering machine! What should I ask it?
Always keep a bottle of wine in the fridge for special occasions. You know…like Thursday.
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t
Most of the lies I tell aren`t even true!
It’s hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs… because they always take things literally