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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

facebook cuz am too old to have imaginery friends
A gun is like a coupon that works anywhere.
My taste in music ranges from, "You need to listen to this" to "I know, please don`t judge me."
Your boyfriend has long hair too. I sometimes have trouble figuring out who the girl is in the relationship.
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
I`ve been told that I can be condescending... that means that I tend to talk down to people.
Please drink responsibly this weekend and don`t drink and dri......Wait this is Facebook, most of you probably won`t leave the house! ... Good talk!
I think God created marriage so death wouldn`t come as such a disappointment.
I’ve always wanted to climb Mt. Everest…just not more than I don’t want to.
Literally saw someone get a tattoo of a camel on their toe.
Morning workout: Turn on treadmill. Untangle headphones for 14 minutes. Get frustrated, leave and eat doughnuts.
Thumbnail pics. Helping ugly people look hot until you click on them since 1995.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Pilot...but apparently I was too young.
I was at the hospital earlier today and saw a cute girl with a cast on her leg. Naturally, my first thought was "Hey, this one can`t run away..."
Sorry I had to cancel for the 5th time in a row, I thought you would stop inviting me by now.