Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If playing Grand Theft Auto makes you violent, why hasn`t 25 years of me playing Madden made me a professional football player?
Is a rivalry between two vegetarians still called a beef?
I don’t have bumper stickers because I don’t believe in anything strongly enough to potentially get my car keyed.
If your lawyer has a ponytail, you`re going to jail
I wish I could literally LMAO..That sounds like a lot more fun than 90 minutes at the gym.
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
Weird how “news” and “fact checking” are treated like two separate concepts these days.
Hate when my GF asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line cause I really don`t like being that guy holding two purses.
I always thought a chickpea was just when girls go to the bathroom in groups.
You never see a church with free wifi. I guess because no church wants to compete with an invisible power that actually works.
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it, now I live in constant fear.
Due to the rise in the economy, the position 69 will now be 96, due to the higher cost of eating out.
Hey Pringles, it`s time to widen the can. Your core demographic isn`t exactly thin-wristed.
I dream about naps.
I must have drank more than I thought last weekend...there`s an entire hour that I don`t remember!