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I cant remember the last time i forgot something
Step 1 - Change your Wi-Fi password to "blowmefirst." Step 2 - Wait for someone to ask you for it.
About to try ordering subway without saying um... Wish me luck!
I´m playing that game where the floor is made of lava, so I obviously can´t get off the couch or I´ll die.
I need my decision making privileges taken away.
Women say they love a man in uniform but when i go clubbing in my McDonalds uniform none of them will talk to me....I`m confused
So far my Christmas shopping has involved buying myself presents, so I`d say it`s been a success.
My legs are so sore from the gym that I almost couldn`t walk to the donut shop.
Ways to tell a woman is mad at you: 1. She is silent. 2. She is yelling. 3. She acts different. 4. She acts the same. 5. She kills you.
Do you realize that a woman`s "I`ll be ready in five minutes." and a guy`s " I`ll be home in five minutes." are exactly the same?
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
Every so often, I like to go to the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
If we can put a satellite in orbit around a comet 4 billion miles away, perhaps someday we can put a working wireless printer in my office.
You`re really cute, can I suck the life out of you? - women