Daily Silly Status

Roses are red Your thong is pink Cover that up You`re not as hot as you think.

Testing.. Testing.. This is a test. If this were an actual ploy for attention.. I would`ve said "bacon" or "boobies."

I told my daughter we might be getting a blizzard and she asked for one with Reese`s pieces

It takes two people to lie....one to lie.....the other to listen

When you drink Vodka over ice, it can give you kidney failure, When you drink Rum over ice, it can give you liver failure, When you drink Whiskey over ice, it can give you heart problems, When you drink Gin over ice, it can give you brain problems. Apparently, ice is really bad for you.

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, `You`re only interested in one thing,` and you can`t remember what it is.

I’m drinking while I work out…I call it Bacardio.

When I say “Nevermind.” I really mean you should’ve listened the first time.

You only live once is the most reassuring thing I`ve ever heard.

I`d like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I work so hard for my gta V character to have a better life

I`ve been told I`m doing exceedingly well in my exaggeration therapy class, I think it`s because I`ve been giving it 180 percent.

I`ve been hiding from exercise ... I`m in the fitness protection program.

Whoever decided to color underpants white was an idiot.

Sex, drugs and candy crush all have one thing in common. It`s only an addiction if you start paying for it.