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I see the Seven Deadly Sins as more of a To-Do list.
LOOK A UFO! Quick, grab the worst camera money can buy.
You girls are lucky, tampons are changing the end from a string to a bit of tinsel but its only for the Christmas period
Perhaps we should hold elections on the last Friday of November, with polling stations at Walmart, Target and Apple
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
I love when people dig their own grave. It saves me so much time.
I sooo did not want to go on a run today but those cops came out of nowhere.
People think I`m crazy because I talk to my cat. What am I supposed to do? Just ignore him when he asks me a question?
What do you mean my bathrobe is inappropriate? Isn`t it casual Friday?!
Apparently you can not demand to be strip searched.
The same people that made fun of me for my calculator watch in high school are now wearing Apple watches.
The bad news: I took the wrong medication today. The good news: For the next 3 months I`m protected against heartworms and fleas.
Ya know what I really hate about mornings? People start talking to me!
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, "Yes, we`ve met before." So they feel awkward trying to remember me