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A pessimist thinks that all women are sluts. An optimist hopes that they are.
I`m glad people are exercising but I want to see cooler activities posted on FB. Like "I spent 1 hour wrestling a bear. 110 calories burned."
Is life fair? Short answer, no. Long answer, nooooooo.
Some people should be ticketed for wearing spandex
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
Cheers, to judging people who spell words wrong in their statuses.
I bet genies were a real thing until one jerk wished for genies not to exist anymore.
If watching the big-screen TV with your pants off and a bag of Doritos is wrong, then they shouldn`t have couches at this Best Buy.
What do women say when they are actually fine?
I have a pornographic memory... Go ahead and get naked, I`ll remember you.
when a police officer yells turn around . Do not respond by singing . Every now and then i get a little bit lonely when you never come around
The saddest thing about St. Patrick`s Day is taking down all my Christmas decorations.
Teacher: what comes after 69. Little Johnny: Mouthwash. Teacher: Get out!!!
Been reading up on the thesaurus lately because a mind is a terrible thing to garbage.
Our parents did the same sh!t too, they`re just liars.