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My fantasy is having two women at once...One Cooking, One Cleaning.
What does it mean if the Holy Water sizzles when it hits your skin (asking for a friend)
STEP 1: Sign up for email newsletter STEP 2: Receive email newsletter STEP 3: Delete unread email newsletter for the rest of your life.
Looking back.. I think I preferred you when I didn`t know you...
My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook.
Accidentally took a women`s multi vitamin & I`ve been trying to get dressed for the past 3 hours, but everything is making me look fat.
Does anyone actually know what you have to do when people are singing Happy Birthday to you.
Anyone that says I`m a lover not a fighter has clearly never been in a relationship over 6 months
Those teardrop tattoos mean you cried during the notebook, right?
Maths teacher: If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Mary, 3 to Claire and 2 to Elizabeth then what will you get? Me: 3 new girlfriends.
Don`t let the propeller hat fool you... I have no idea how to fly this plane.
I read Facebook for the pictures.
I ordered a new GPS unit, but it got lost in the mail.
Its better to have loved and lost, then stay with that psyco for one more sec
MARRIAGE TIP: Don`t get fat.