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My favorite coffee in the morning is the one where no one talks to me while I drink it.
You only live once.......Unless someone has a defribrilator
I`m a beer enthusiast. The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I become.
This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
People – the most gentle, loving, kind, sympathetic, peaceful and caring creatures in the world. Especially when they need something from you.
Walking past a new employee`s desk & yelling, "Do you think it`s a good idea to be surfing porn on your first day?" will never get old.
Save the US Postal Service. Have the Jehovah Witness and Mormons deliver the mail.
This is probably the best idea I`ve had yet! -me, right before I do something stupid
I`m off to bed. For those of you who wish to add a touch of authenticity to your fantasies, the sheets are pale blue...
Coca Cola: Because drinking black water seems like a solid life choice.
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day
"LSD causes users to lose weight" Obviously. You can`t eat when a dragon is guarding the fridge.
Dating Tip: Find a partner with a compatible phone charger.
morning i hate girls evening i need girls
For our next trick, we should hack into North Korea`s TV system and put Jersey Shore on repeat...