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Why can`t braille just be in the shape of the letters?
In sign language, arthritis is a speech impediment.
I prefer to use the bathroom naked w/ the door wide open. Sorry if this interferes with your idea of a "safe & fun work environment"
I use to be addicted to soap, but now I`m clean
If they really want to increase breast awareness, why not try a National Motorboat Day?
My left buttcheek fell asleep. I`m Half-a$$ing everything I do for the next ten minutes.
Alcohol free beer is like ... orgasm free sex
You say tomato, I say summertime snowball.
People who talk to themselves tend to be better lovers. Did you know that? Yes, I did know that. Thank you for asking.
Before you marry a person you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.
My swear jar has more money in it than my bank account.
Sleep is for people with no internet connection.
I don’t care how loud I’m laughing, I’m having fun and you’re not.
Calling out your ex`s name during sex is a nice way to show your current lover that you won`t forget them after you break up.
Don`t worry about walking a mile in my shows. Try a day thinking in head.