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I don`t mind helping people as long as I`m not slightly inconvenienced.
I`m in therapy to learn how to deal with people who should be in therapy
My imaginary friend is bullying me.
I Wonder what Facebook Employees do to waste time at work ?
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
Couples Halloween costumes always end up looking like one person went along with it to save the relationship.
You`ve been on more hotel pillows then chocolate mints.
I got a little package in the mail today. For some reason it just reminded me of my ex.
Cars should come with two horns: one that’s like “Hey guys!” & another that’s like “I will end you!”
Some days should come with a warning label: This day is going to suck, bring alcohol.
Dyslexics are teople poo.. :|
A great thing about being single is never having to erase your history tab.
Thank God for Facebook otherwise we would never know what fireworks look like.
Notice how writers don’t rewrite books, how about we stop remaking movies.
The point of no return sounds like a fun vacation spot.