Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Girls who say "alot of guys are after me" should keep in mind that cheap things always attract many customers.
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and texted me 3 days later asking if I have a girlfriend yet.
I appreciate your help, but no thanks, I can f*ck up my life on my own.
Guys are excellent cooks. With two eggs, a sausage, & a little bit of milk...they can keep a girl`s stomach full for 9 months.
Some people should be ticketed for wearing spandex
Relationships are like bathrooms. I`m in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I`m playing on my phone the whole time.
My version of flirting is looking at someone attractive multiple times while hoping they are more brave than I am.
??q? uo p??oq??? ? ?nq i ??i? ?s?? ??? si si??
My road to success is under construction and all the workers are out getting sh!tfaced.
I`m more of a "the glass is half shattered into a million tiny pieces" person.
I just found out that his full name is actually, Vehicle Identification Number Diesel.
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
Whenever I see a celebrity photobomb, I`m like, that`s so relatable. I too constantly ruin moments and think I`m more fun than I actually am
Sometimes when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
If there`s one thing I learned from my wife, it`s don`t get married!