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You cant ask "What do you mean by that?" without sounding pissed off
" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
I never meant to be so cold, I never meant to be so cold. - Mother nature
im like the government: i spend money on things that aren`t important, and spend most of my time trying to explain to people why i need them.
I always say "morning" instead of "good morning". If it were a good morning I`d still be in bed instead of talking to people.
I totally understand how batteries feel because I`m never included in things either
“How are feeling today?” is a polite reminder that you were a mess the night before.
If you`re going to walk a mile in my shoes, could you pick me up some booze on your way back?
Never be mean to nerds. You never know, one day you might be working for them!
10 million people share the same birthday as you. Your personalized horoscope means sh!t.
Not sure if people stopped saying YOLO or if everyone who said it died.
So who the hell ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?
I just want to be rich enough to pay people to not talk to me.
I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.
My boss yelled at me yesterday "It`s the fifth time you`ve been late to work this week! Do you know what that means?!" I said, "Probably that it`s Friday?"…