Daily Silly Status

Whenever someone tells me they like country music, I just look them in the eyes and ask "which country?"

Holiday Shopping Tip #112:Next time you see someone with their arms full of bags looking around a parking lot while pointing and clicking their horn button, help them out and start pushing your horn button too!

if money grew of trees, girls would be dating monkeys

The Brain ? Forgets what I want to remember, Remembers what I want to forget.

Tenderizing the meat sounds a lot sexier than it is

I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how`s your day going?

I was late to work because I was having car trouble. And by car trouble I mean I was sleeping and not driving the car.

If your boyfriend answers your text while playing GTA, he doesn`t love you. He just died on the game.

I didn`t get drunk enough last night, I can still remember working.

I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.

Be thankful for Facebook, the way gas prices are headed we may never actually see each other again.

Don`t hate me because I`m beautiful. Hate me because your man thinks I am.

So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?

I`m the perfect man if you don`t factor in looks, depth of character, emotional availability, intelligence or financial well being.

I’m still kind of pissed they never told us how to get to Sesame Street.