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Really Google Autocomplete? You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
I had a Dr. appointment this morning. He asked me how many beers I drink. I held out my hand and said this one is only my 4th, I`ll call you back later with the total.
I don`t believe in karma, but I do believe in punching people in the face.
I relate to Game of Thrones because much like my own life, I have no idea what’s going on and there’s a lot of wine drinking.
I just don`t want to look back and think "I could`ve eaten that"
Facebook looks so boring on the outside, but once you start using it, its like NARNIA BRO!
I`m just a boy, standing in front of a girl; not listening to a f*cking thing she`s saying. But nodding, lots of nodding.
The proper way to use a stress ball is to throw it at the last person to piss you off.
The best curve on a girl is her smile ;) ... Lol just kidding!
If Starbucks delivered, I would be a morning person.
I would like to thank you people for letting me know its Friday every week. Its thoughts like this that keep me on Facebook.
Had a super busy day today converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
Pizza will never tell you you`re fat unless you`re high as sh!t, then pizza is probably suggesting you fight an aardvark to lose weight.
Sometimes I get a little sad and feel like being alone. But then I talk to my dog about it and he reminds me I`m Awesome. Then WE DANCE.