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3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
There’s no question about it, the second half of the tank of gas goes twice as fast as the first!
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
Good to know that if they ever release a lion in Walmart you only have to run faster than the fat lady with the zebra print pants on.
Just wrote ‘You have no new messages’ on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and threw it far out to sea.
This Halloween, the only Candy I`m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
If anyone has any terrible ideas, I`ve historically been very open to them.
I just assume I do everything wrong since I don`t have a wife to confirm it.
Auto correct changed "group hug" to "grope hug" and I`m not in charge of the team-building exercises any more.
Porn Spoiler.......The plumber doesn`t fix the leak in the kitchen sink...
When are they going to drug test the audience of "The Price Is Right."? No one is that happy
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
Me, a morning person? Pfft. Most days I`m not even an afternoon person.
I can either be on time or wearing pants. Pick one.
Pretty impressed at petrol station today, as i was filling up, i heard woman with truck at next pump say is that Vin Diesel, I smiled, then realised she meant Van Diesel :-/