Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. “Alright, get in the basket”
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
If weed is ever legalized, I can`t wait to see the commercials...
I read in the Bible that people used to get stoned to death, that`s a lot of weed.
For those who know nothing of how to satisfy a woman: The G spot is located at the end of the word shopping.
You should have seen the guy who unlocked the liquor store this morning. It was like he never saw anyone roll up a sleeping bag before.
They say you are what you eat, though... I don`t recall eating a sexy beast today
My neighbors listen to some amazing music… whether they like it or not. ;)
Procrastinators Unite!! ... tomorrow.
Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
Thats it! I want to be re-inserted and I don`t want to remember a darn thing!
Things ain`t nobody got time for: That
Its so cold outside I might even post about it on Facebook
There should be reality show where 16 congressmen are forced to take jobs in the private sector.