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My Memory.....The Second shortest thing I have.
No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
It’s not the destination, it’s the journey. Except when you’re heading to the bathroom with explosive diarrhea.
Dear Microsoft Office Word I am pretty sure I spelled my name correct
Good thing all the `Five and Ten` stores closed... They were nickle and diming us to death.
I`m really tired but it`s OK. There`s a nap for that.
this is a status you spent your time reading: sj
Come to think of it, I’ve never seen a taxi fill up at a gas station
It`s pretty neat how owning a pool gives me an excuse to own every chemical needed to make a body completely disappear.
I just missed winning the lottery by only 6 numbers.
I saw a comedian one time who did nothing but make geography puns. talk abbottabad act.
Back in my day it was called daydreaming…not ADHD.
That moment when you spell a word so wrong that even auto correct is like....`I`ve got nothing man.`
If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.
Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.