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You can tell a guy has a woman in his life when he remembers to do stuff like put on deodorant and wipe his butt most of the time!
Monica & Chandler’s twins would be 9 this year, Pheobe’s triplets 14, Ben 18, and Emma 11. Let’s just take a moment to let that sink in.
Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
Anyone else immediately turn down the car radio the second you think you might be lost?
I wish I had a friend like me
I love how in movies when someone types a really embarrassing secret they always accidentally send it to the whole school, and they also coincidentally have the phone number of everyone.
Ladies, don`t say that men never listen... We can tell you every word of what was said during an NFL pregame or in-game broadcast.
Life is so much funnier when you have a dirty mind.
The only difference between a weekday and a weekend is which boss is telling me to do things.
My body is made up of 90% water, 5% pizza and 5% wine.
Her: I love it when we finish each other`s Him: pancakes
Sometimes you have to flip out and go bat sh!t crazy to make a point.
Some people`s lives are like open books... Mine is like a trashcan without a lid.
So exactly what age will I stop falling over while trying to put on my underwear?
Just gave the Earth a one-star rating and a bad review on TripAdvisor to discourage any aliens that were planning an invasion.