Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Some people are like clouds. When they disappear, it’s a brighter day.
Sign: "No alcohol past this point." Translation: Bet you can`t chug this entire beer, right now.
Since smart watches can now read your pulse, there should be a feature that erases your browser history if your heart stops beating...
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
If you don`t think of 50 different ways to murder your boss every morning on your drive to work you`re probably the boss
Only in math problems can you buy 60 cantaloupes and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.
Bored? Find group photo of 4 women. Comment "You 3 look incredible!!"
exactly how long is a cotton picking minute.
You know you`re a bad driver when Siri tells you "after 400 feet stop and let me out"
As a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
Things you need to know about me: 1- I`m lazy 2- hmm, one is enough
You know it was a good sh!t when you come back and your screensaver is on.
I`ve done it in the bathroom, I`ve done it in the bedroom, I`ve done it in the kitchen, on the couch, outside, in the bus, yoo I just can`t seem to stop this texting.:)
Your secrets are safe with me! Odds are, I wasn’t even listening.