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My greatest fear is that I will accidentally use the status update bar as the search bar on my browser.
People say "Happy Thanksgiving" which is nice, but then they ruin it by saying "Don`t eat too much". Do they want me to have a Happy Thanksgiving or not?
Dear Microsoft Office Word I am pretty sure I spelled my name correct
I have decided I no longer want to be an adult. So if anyone needs me, I`ll be in my blankey fort... coloring.
On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the Escape key
I would be so pissed if someone shook me all night long.
I’m going to start telling girls that I’m available for a limited time only in hopes that their shopping instinct kicks in.
has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
My friend says to me, "What rhymes with orange?" I said, "No it doesn`t."
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
I’m so broke this New Years Im gonna party like its $19.99.
What if there actually is one legit Nigerian millionaire prince who genuinely needs to use your bank account?
I ordered some bubble wrap online. It arrived in a box surrounded by packing peanuts.
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
I don`t gamble. I don’t drink. My one vice is my iPhone. Well, that and lying about drinking and gambling.