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Thinks that thinking about thoughts of thinking are too thinkable for thoughts to be thought about thinking, I think.
I would explain it to you again, but I am fresh out of puppets and crayons.
I stepped on the scale today. Not to get my weight. I just couldn`t reach the cookies in the cupboard.
I commend any woman for going into labor outside a hospital setting. If I have to poop anywhere besides my own bathroom I go into panic mode
I`m not saying you`re a slut but you`re dirtier than my browser history.
I don`t like Instagram. It reminds me that somewhere people are doing stuff. I just don`t need that kind of pressure.
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza
There are people in life you could NEVER get tired of hitting with a shovel!!!
Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I’m starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
I have very poor ninja skills when it comes to staring at cleavage.
Sorry I can`t make it to your party tonight- I have to get up REALLY early tomorrow afternoon.
I wouldn’t pay for a personal trainer, but I would pay someone to just knock unhealthy food out of my hands.
As far as distractions go ... I like to think I`m a good one.
Taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up -- In 30 minutes? In 3 hours? In 9 years? No one can ever be sure.
Sometimes I wonder if I could get away with murder, but then I remember I can’t even eat pancakes without getting syrup all over me.