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Hot Pockets: For when you want every bite to be a different temperature.
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
It`s never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it`s too late.
There comes a time in the day, when no matter what the question, the answer is booze.
Facebook is like a fridge. When you`re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there`s anything good in it
"Ramen". - Scooby Doo, finishing a prayer
I`ve decided that I`m an ass man. Don`t get me wrong, horses are beautiful. They just aren`t as cute as donkeys.
I wish the buck stopped here…I could use a few.
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
Life is different in Christian frats: “You should’ve seen this hot chick I didn’t bang.” “Way to save it for marriage, bro.” *fist bump*
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
Tell a girl she pretty she`ll believe it for a minute. Tell a girl she has Miley Cyrus` butt she`ll believe it for a lifetime
Unless you tripped and smacked your face on the treadmill, no one wants to hear about your workout.
A lot of guys get married just because they`re hungry.
I thought my life would include more impromptu sing-alongs.