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Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around
Sometimes I wanna copy someone´s status word for word and see if they notice.
Remember to make some bad decisions today. 20 years from now that’s all you’ll have to make your kids think you’re cool.
Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.
How does Ice-T order an Iced Tea without sounding like a douche?
Just bent over to pick up a beer that rolled out of the fridge and realized yoga is exhausting
I always read my girlfriend’s horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
Serious question: Are doctors sure erectile dysfunction isn`t just a side effect of being married & bangin the same woman for years & years?
The guys at Home Depot must take classes to know exactly what I meant by "the little thing next to that one piece with the round thing."
If Guys Wrote Valentine’s Cards: “I don’t even need beer to think you’re attractive.”
If flying is really so safe, then why is it called the `terminal`?
Why is it always the same person getting in your way from start to checkout at the grocery store?
I wonder if my neighbors are more tired of hearing my dog bark or me screaming at it to shut the f*ck up.
I’m actually a really nice guy once you get to blow me.