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Anyone else see the irony in Disney World?.. You know, the fact that it`s a giant human trap, ...set by a mouse.
It`s kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn`t
It`s a beautiful day, think I`ll skip my meds and stir things up a bit.
Mondays should start at noon.
A wife is like a hand grenade. Remove the ring, and your house is gone.
Please come see my theatrical dramatization of the history of puns ... It`s a play on words.
If you`ve had cats, the singles virus may already be inside you.
My daughter exclaims "Cheers!" before she takes a drink of juice. So no, actually, I am NOT looking forward to parent - teacher conferences.
Iām pretty sure I could start a new life with only the crap in my car.
I Hope I can make it through another season of disagreement over the pronunciation of pecan.
Siri, where are my pants?
Boy: "Life`s a bitch, so is my Girlfriend." Girlfriend: "Life`s short, so is his d!ck.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
Is it weird that I`m 43 years old and have a secret handshake with 3 adults.....and my dog?
If you had to choose between your significant other and a million dollars, what`s the first thing you`d buy?