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As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in..
I only say "God bless you" twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you`re a demon who must be destroyed.
What a rip-off. I picked up a book called 101 Mating Positions. It turned out to be a book on chess.
The first to apologize is the bravest. The first to forgive is the strongest. The first to open the vodka is the smartest.
I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not.
only fights if pillows are present.
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
You can`t make me believe there`s a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers.
Why am I always right but people still ignore me...?
I dreamt that was dreaming, and then someone woke me up and told me I was dreaming but it turned out I had only dreamed that so I went back to sleep in my dream, all upset that my dream that I was dreaming was interrupted by another dream....hahahahaha.....whoa, need to lay off the Red Bull.
When a girl says "no," a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow."
You can tell a lot about a woman by the way she cuts your brake lines.
It`s no fun having nothing to do, fun is having a lot to do and doing nothing.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
My problem is, I`m about 30% stud, and 70% muffin.