Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m an organ donor, but I`m pretty sure all they`re going to use my liver for is "after" photos.
You know your phone can take pictures of other people too right? Just checking.
Sometimes when someone appears to be hailing a cab, I go up and high five their hand because you can never be too sure.
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
I`m growing a mullet to test our friendship.
If at first you don`t succeed, try drinking a shot of Vodka while you do it. You`ll be amazed of how much less you care.
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, cake... You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad."
This beer is making me awesome !! ;)
It`s hard to write a good drinking song. I can never make it past the first few bars.
Have I been drinking? Clearly officer, you`re no detective
My new credit card has this awesome theft protection where it just says "declined" whenever you use it.
Facebook is like a nude beach. Everybody lets everything hang out, and you really don`t want to see a lot of it...
I know I am an acquired taste. If you don`t like me, you need to acquire some taste. Or go f*ck yourself. Whichever.
I wouldn`t say I`m a stalker so much as I am a covert observation enthusiast.
It should really be called teethpaste.