Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbor mowing the lawn. I figure he`ll just have to mow around me. I`m not moving.
I didn`t see anyone important yesterday, so I`ll probably wear these same clothes today.
If a man says something in the woods.. And there are no women there.. Is he still wrong? O_o
Hold boobs not grudges.
I saw a Facebook ad for burial plots and I thought, that`s the last thing I need.
If you get angry, just take deep breaths and count to ten. Unless you`re angry about oxygen and numbers.
EVERY Friday is good in my book!
I`m a very modest person, mostly because I`m awesome.
If I ever had to run for my life, I would probably die.
It`s funny how my car drives slower on the way to work, than when I`m on my way home.
I don’t necessarily believe in karma, but I’m gonna be extra careful crossing the street after this weekend.
My coworkers sending dirty messages to other coworkers when I leave my computer unlocked is why I have trust issues. ... and dates.
Everybody reaches a point in their lives when they die.
People with no money sure do have a lot of pot.
I always look out for #1 ... unless I`m walking thru my yard, then I look out for #2