Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home,,, The more homeless I look.
I`m not a doctor but I play one on Match.com
Do you ever get that feeling that you are being watched? Because if it is bothering you, I can stop.
There`s no point in using a big word, when an infinitesimally diminutive one will do.
Apparently, I did not use enough a$$hole repellent today
I have two feelings, it`s either "I`m hungry" or "I shouldn`t have eaten this much"
So many idiots, so few nuclear warheads....
Suggested movie theater prices: Adults - $9.00, Under 12 - $ 6.00, Under 3 - $249.00
I don`t understand fat homeless people. What are you eating? Broken hopes and dreams?
People who don’t like pizza are people you don’t need in your life.
Alcohol is never the answer...unless, of course, you ask what I`ll be doing tonight.
A lot of times I wonder if people think my girlfriend is only with me for my money.....but I am always reassured by the fact that I don`t have any money..........or a girlfriend....
Maybe I`m not stalking you, maybe I just like your schedule
The phrase "the truth shall set you free" does not apply to murder.
FUN FACT: If you take all of the marshmellows out of a box of Lucky Chrams, you`ll have a bag of Purina Cat Chow