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My friend named her female dog Karma... Karmas a bitch.
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn`t hear you the first 100 times.
How could a man who is covered in tattoos be afraid of commitment?
My wife and I decided to make our own sex tape. She was pissed off when I started holding auditions for her part.
Are you tired of every day being the same? Congratulations, you’re an adult!
Work like you don`t have proof of citizenship, Love like you were on a reality TV show, and dance like you were being thrown 100 dollar bills at
Happy St. Patrick`s Day! I was going to drink anyway!
I`m tired of being the better person. One day I`d like to be the bitch that they claim I am.
Maybe if I tilt my head to the side I can understand English – dogs
Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.
When someone calls you a bitch just say a bitch is a dog, a dog barks, bark is on trees, trees are nature and nature is beautiful. thanks for the compliment ;)
The first rule of elevator club is don`t talk to other members of elevator club.
Jokes on you hot chick at the bar who gave me a radio station`s phone number I just won Harlem Globetrotter tickets and a Bud Light poncho.
You know it`s a classy establishment when they quietly ask you to leave.
That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, Knock over a lamp, and kill a cat.