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Anyone who believes that children are our future has not been to a mall recently.
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!
Talking to you makes me invent new swear words.
The WWF advert asks, “When the ice goes, where do the polar bears go?” ... Well, swimming, I suppose.
Shout out to the new couples still holding in farts.
Raising teenagers is easy, they sleep 16 hours day, eat the other 8, and the only word in their vocab is "ok"
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
It`s always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I`m almost out.
I laugh in the face of normal.
When I was a kid I slept with a nightlight... to keep away monsters who were scared of small, low wattage light bulbs.
Actually officer, if you factor in the earth`s rotation, we were all speeding.
Me and my cat have been staring at each other for so long I forgot which one of us is stoned.