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Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.
The real reason I`m not a superhero.... Pockets, I need my pockets.
I’m still waiting for the episode of Storage Wars where there’s a homeless guy living in the unit.
There is no such thing as a dirty mind. Just a sense of humor with adult content.
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
I need a Shazam app for people I`m supposed to recognize but can`t remember
I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and hope for a miracle!
I guess not everyone at this grocery store is as comfortable with my nudity as I am. ;)
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
I am there for you no matter what, anytime, day or night, unless there is something good on TV or I am eating pie
Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I`d probably have done better if they`d specified that they didn`t mean by tickling.
Kids today will never know the frustration of having to rewind their dads porn tapes to the exact same spot...
How many Weight Watcher points are in an entire bottle of wine?
I can always tell when I`m drunk. I tend to drop things...like my standards