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Hot Pockets: For when you want every bite to be a different temperature.
It`s true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
Facebook: Proving that just because you have an opinion doesn`t mean you should share it.
I saw a baby wearing a bib that said, “This dumbass put my cape on backwards”
Single ? I`m not single, I`m in a long standin relationship with fun and freedom ! ;)
Whenever I get a message that begins with “Hey Stranger” I know I’m about to be asked for a favor by someone I don’t want to help.
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let’s it go, and it hurts the one who held on.
Time to train for my favorite winter sport. Extreme Hibernation.
“Screw it” – My final thought before making most decisions.
I hate it when I tell someone I`ll be there in 10 minutes, but they continue to call me every half-hour anyway
doesn`t need any help being bad but u can come along for the ride if your up for it.
There are two types of people I can`t stand. Nosy people, and people who won`t tell me what`s going on.
Sometimes I wish my dog could talk…then I remember all the things he has seen me do when I’m alone.
You shouldn`t be allowed to wear animal print if you are bigger than said animal.
I cringe when teens brag about taking girls to pound town because adopting a puppy together is a huge responsibility.