Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change.
Today I found a penny. It reminded me of you. Worthless & found in everybody`s pants.
It isn`t until your kids start talking back that you realize dogs would`ve been a better option.
I don’t trust joggers, it’s a little too convenient that they are always the ones to discover dead bodies.
I dance like people wish they weren`t watching.
GF: "You`re cute when you`re drunk" Me: "You`re cute when I`m drunk too"
I stayed at a really nice, really fancy hotel this weekend. The towels were so thick I could hardly get my suitcase shut.
What is this `wrong hole` you people speak of?
If at first you don`t succeed then maybe you just suck.
Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?
I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....
I fold down my laptop screen very slowly at night so I don`t squish you guys.
So Apple is gonna buy Beats by Dr. Dre... I guess "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" doesn`t apply to technology?
"Oh!Look The Smurfs Grew Up!"Grandma those are Avatars." -_-