Daily Silly Status

It just dawned on me why Mayberry was so peaceful and quit, cause nobody was married. Andy, Aunt Bea, Barney, Floyd, Howard, Goober, Gomer, Sam, Ernest T Bass, The Darlins, Helen, Thelma Lou, Clara. The only one married was Otis, and he stayed drunk!

This cat poop tastes like I`m about to get yelled at -Dogs

Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.

I`m not a Dr. or a Nutritionist, but I`m pretty sure the worst thing you can put into any high fat/ high calorie dish is your fork.

If love is blind....why is lingerie so popular?

When a cashier asks if you have a rewards card, look down, sigh, and say, "My wife took everything when she left"

I may not be a veterinarian, but I know a horses a$$ when I meet one.

Holiday Tip #236: When hosting a covered dish holiday dinner where everyone brings something, never put a skinny person in charge of desserts.

When you go in the other room I ask your dog what you look like naked.

If history repeats itself then I am SO getting a dinosaur.

I just hope my stalker doesn`t tell my dentist how infrequently I floss.

I self medicate, therefore you live.

So I met an Egyptian ... they walk just like us.

Note to Self: These Note to Selves don’t work.

Thanks for posting pics of what you had for dinner, the suspense was f*cking killing me.