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I`m like the stink in your feet.....I will always be with you.
I accidentally wore green today. And I probably will be drunk later but NOT because it`s St. Patrick`s Day, because it`s Monday.
I`ve found that the best web designers in the world are spiders.
Nuclear physicists can be lots of fun. They`re often referred to as the half life of any party.
When I become famous I`m not going to tell anyone.
Very productive day today, turd-wise
Still waiting for a criminal on Law and Order to say,,, "Hey,, Aren`t you Ice-T?"
When everything is coming your way ... You`re in the wrong lane.
With the right person, there is no such thing as inappropriate behavior.
The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.
I’m writing this from the hospital. Don’t worry! The doctors say I’m going to be OK but I must warn you. The Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very misleading name!
“Nothing is impossible.” I disagree. I’m doing nothing right now… it’s totally possible.
"Are u going to the circus?" is a perfectly good sentence when not used as a follow-up 2 your wife`s question: "how does my make-up look?"
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?
That fact that I need sun glasses to open my fridge means my night must have been awesome.