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People always get so excited about the next generation iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology that`s called a Turn Signal.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life too
Have you noticed that it`s only the married squirrels that hurl themselves in front of your car......
Is your GPS supposed to sigh before it says "Recalculating"?
Halfway through singing a romantic ballad to my cat, it occurred to me that I`m going to die alone.
I don`t care what people think of me. It can`t be half as bad as what I think of them...
Relationship status: Runs alone at night in hopes of being abducted.
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
A recent study found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year. Another study found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year. That means that, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
Mouth the word " vacuum" to a stranger & see what happens.
I`m Not Perfect. Your Not Perfect. But Together We Can Be a Perfect Sense of Humor LOL!
So many fun things to say … too many relatives on Facebook to post!
Being alive is so expensive.
My new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone`s having a party