Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It took dozens and dozens of flushes and a plunger, but my guinea pig`s funeral is finally over.
Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. I`m made of sarcasm, wine and everything fine.
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good!
If you`re going to be stupid, don`t do it on Facebook.
I dare you to spit on this status.
It’s that time of the evening where my beer bottle has magically turned into a microphone again.
I wish I drove a Volkswagen bug. It would be cool to know that every time I drove by a school bus, some kid was getting punched.
With all the potato chip flavors available now, I see no point in buying actual food...
Look in the mirror and tell me that God does not have a sense of humor.
I found my first grey pubic hair today. Normally things like this don`t bother me, but it was in my Big Mac.
I was going to exercise this morning, but then all the sprinkles would fall off my cupcake.
It turns out that playing strip solitaire isn`t nearly as much fun as playing strip poker. Especially at work...
I might get a job cleaning mirrors,its a job I can see myself doing.
Your mother never saw the irony in calling you son of a bitch.
Moral compass? Is there an app for that?