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What is the difference between a trapeze artist and a supermodel?. The trapeze artist has a cunning stunt.
!that embarrasing moment when you fake a call then a real one comes...!lol.
Out of all the lies I`ve ever told, "Just kidding" is my favorite.
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It`s the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
Wish I turned into a wolf every month instead of getting my period
That awkward moment when u start telling a story only to realise no one is listening so you slowly fade out and pretend to have said nothing.
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
Why is it the less money someone makes the better they are at reproducing?
It’s a good job Apple isn’t in charge of New Year. We’d all be expecting 2015 and get 2014S instead.
I thought we were both kidding when we made plans for me to watch your kid.
I`m old enough to remember being the tv remote.
I hate when you tell someone you’re bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you’re not quite that bored.
Hey mother in law.... Don`t tell me how to raise my kids. Im still trying to raise yours.
Good morning friends … Wait … what the hell m I doing up this early?