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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don`t go to bars anymore, but I miss some things about it. So sometimes I wait outside my bathroom for 15 minutes when I`m dying to pee.
Ahhh another Monday at work...... I`m having as much fun as a colorblind person playing Twister!
Maybe the reason Uncle Phil hated Will was because the first thing Will gave him was a $3700 cab ride bill from Philly to Bel-Air.
When people say they did something "like a boss" I just picture them doing it fatter and with less hair
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does
After opening this month`s electric bill, I am no longer scared of the dark.
Stand for what you believe in. Or sit on the couch and have a couple of donuts. It`s a free country really.
Not one back to school special on beer. What kind of world do we live in.
All I ask for is a chance to prove money can`t make me happy.
I don`t let my friends do stupid things... ALONE
If I’ve offended you with my posts, I humbly apologize. I honestly didn’t think you could read.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
I can eat a piece of pie without a plate or a fork what else should I write on this dating site profile?
There are plenty of fish in the sea ...That`s cool and all....but I`m a human.
Just because nobody complains doesn`t mean all parachutes are perfect.