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Just tried to pay for my McDonalds with a hug, it didn`t work. Don`t believe the rumors.
I thought Row vs. Wade was Washington`s decision when he reached the Delaware.
I`ve had like 10 red bulls, so of course I`m vacuuming the front yard.
Let`s run away together.. Lol jk, I don`t run anywhere.
Apparently, the answer "I Know" is not a good answer when your friend tells you how good his girlfriend is in bed
I hate it when I mean to buy seedless grapes but instead I accidentally get...well you know...Oreos.
I should be cleaning and disinfecting the toilet bowl today cause I have a feeling I`ll be hunched over hugging it later tonight.
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
If you allow your pets to roam free in our neighborhood, Iām gonna put party hats on em. This is non-negotiable.
How do I tell a man he loves me?
Ladies: Sometimes you just need to throw your arms up in the air and say, "Tie me up"
The funny moment when a fat kid says "that`s how I roll".
Today I caught myself thinking of you and smiling... but it was because you had a booger in your nose the last time I saw you.
Share this if you know someone who is alive today simply because you don`t want to go to prison.
If I ever get to an age where the music from the ice cream truck doesn`t make me excited, pull the plug.