Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
"That`s crazy" is the perfect response when you haven`t been listening.
I love to start my day by getting on Facebook to see who is a whiny little bi!ch today.
Don’t underestimate my ability to be hungry.
I live in fear that one day the real "World`s Greatest Dad" is going to show up to reclaim his rightful mug.
I love a room with a fire place it sets the tone for a romantic night, drinking wine slow dancing, burning evidence.
I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me Limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking?
Why do we offer "a word to the wise" when it`s the stupid ones that need the advice?
The average man thinks about sex every tits seconds
Once you get past my charm, good looks, intelligence and my sense of humor, I think it’s my modesty that stands out.
Good morning friends … Wait … what the hell m I doing up this early?
Dude, I see you are enjoying a cold Bud Light Lime-a-Rita .... I`m going to assume that`s your smart car parked outside.
What`s the hold up on making extremely heavy shoes for toddlers so they can`t run around so much?
popsicle sticks: $1. caramel: $3. onion: $1. watching ur kid bite into a caramel onion thinking its an apple: priceless.
The true trollers are the ones who troll the trolls.
You`re annoying, but honestly, I`ve been annoyed by better.