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Welcome to my Facebook wall. Straight jackets are on your left, meds are on the table, and if you hurry, you can still get a seat in group therapy . . . have fun!
Sometimes I stand in the shower for 10 minutes before I remember what I`m supposed to be doing. So, yes your secrets are safe with me.
Marriage is something you should pay for and divorce should be free. You might think twice before buying into it.
What if dreams are just glimpses of alternate universes?
Guess what I saw today ... Everything I looked at. ;)
Redneck Term Of Thee Day-Wisdom: "Mah bruther had him some kidney stones, but he wisdom out!"
How do some people manage to sit on it and talk out of it at the same time?
that annoying manager who thinks they are god ... you are not ... you are a douche box
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,…Why don’t you ever smile in my pictures?
I’m not sure how many problems I have because math is one of them
If anxiety was good for weight loss, I`d be back to my birth weight.
Hoping that Steve Harvey isn`t the one announcing the winning Powerball numbers tonight!
The person next to me just farted.. Does this mean my lungs are full of his poo particles -.-
I was named after my father. I don`t really like the name "Dad" though.
They say love is in every corner… Then my life must be a freakin’ circle.