Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You all take typos way too serious, you gays.
Who do Walmart shoppers make fun of?
I might be a day late and a dollar short, but it is still my personal best.
I got up at 7:00 this morning .. lather rinse repeat ... How long do you have to do this for?
If you are willing to date an ex, it means that you`re backwards compatible.
My dog reacts to the vacuum cleaner the same way I react when my wife says "We need to talk".
Hello...
When people stay in a horrific relationship instead of breaking up, I assume they killed someone together.
The first guy who persuaded a blind guy to wear sunglasses, must have been a hell of a salesman.
Since 4th of July falls on a Wednesday do we drink the weekend before? the weekend after? That Wednesday? The entire week? The entire month? The entire year?
My therapist doesn`t believe in werewolves so I left my last session with more problems than when I arrived.
When I die I`m going to go to heaven and God is going to be like nope, remember what you said on Facebook
I use these ( ... ) a lot. For which, I believe, the technical term is Dotty Dot Dots.
I wish real life had as many ejection seats as cartoons.
I often worry about the safety of my children, especially the one that is rolling their eyes at me & talking back right now.