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I have a hidden talent......I really wish I could find it!
Anything worth taking seriously is worth making fun of.
After dinner I like to sit in the garden in my underwear and smoke a cigarette.....but apparently that`s not done at this hotel....
It`s amazing how we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good Judges for other people`s mistakes.
I don`t have to run faster than the lion, I just have to run faster than you.
Just been wondering what "please Do Not Touch" would be in Braille
I`ll bet Amish people look forward to Thanksgiving since it`s the only time their clothes look festive.
I`ve never had a windshield wiper setting that truly satisfied me.
Nobody cares what you`re gonna do in 2015. Now post some nudes.
You know it`s cold outside when during rush hour you get the mitten instead of the finger.
Bulimia: Twice the taste. Zero Calories.
The problem with this generation? The cartoons suck.
My desire to be well informed is currently in deep conflict with my need to stay sane.
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?