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I told you I was trouble. You should have listened to me instead of staring at my boobs.
I need to find a way to be asleep but still get all my work done.
I bought a blowup doll today, but I won`t blow her up until tomorrow. I don`t want to seem desperate.
Can anyone recommend a good movie to kinda listen to while I stare at my phone?
If someone starts a sentence with "words can`t express," brace yourself, because they`re about to give it a hell of a try anyway.
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
I recently added squats to my daily workout routine and I did so by moving my beer to the bottom shelf in my refrigerator.
Why aren`t they called A$$teroids instead of hemorrhoids???
There was a HUGE spider in the shower.. So I ran into the living room screaming naked.. Now my daughters` friends probably won`t be allowed over anymore..
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
What if "I`m coming out with a new scent" was just a way for famous people to warn others that they were about to fart?
H.A.T.E.R.S. : Having Anger Towards Everyone Reaching Success?
You made several good points, and I understand that you are right, but the way you said it was so douchey I have to take an opposite stance.
Was up all night wondering, why do people compliment me for having all my sh!t together & yet still insult me for being full of it?
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them,The police call it indecent exposure but whatever...