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A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When i quized him on it, he reckoned he could stop aaaany time . . . .
The best thing about not being with you, is not being with you.
When riding in an elevator, be sure to push all the buttons. Your fellow riders will appreciate the fact that you thought of everyone.
How old were you when you found out your parents were using Santa Claus as a behavior-modification tool?
I see your arguement contains a lot of swear words, you must really know what you`re talking about
Sorry, I can`t hangout. My uncle`s cousin`s sister in law`s best friend`s insurance agent`s roommate`s pet goldfish drowned. It was tragic.
Today`s Generation: "Omg my parents never let me have anything." via iPhone
Theirye’re, problem solved.
You can run from your problems. Unless your problem is a cheetah.
My job description does not include farting on everyone else`s office chairs but I still do it because INITIATIVE.
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
I`m so old, I remember when the internet didn`t have commercials.
I always wanted to buy a Parrot and teach it to say, "Help, they`ve turned me into a parrot!"
Some tattoo artists need to just say, "no, I`m not doing this sh!t."
"We have HBO" - apparently still a bragging point in the motel industry.