Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
If the shampoo and conditioner in her shower are not the same brand GET THE F*CK OUT, SHE`S A MAN!
A married man has 2 options in an argument...he can be right or he can be happy
I`m not lazy. I`m just highly motivated to not do anything.
FB friends, please let me know if you own one of those cool little Smart cars so I can unfriend you.
If a man repeats everything a woman says, word for word,,,,,,,, is he still wrong?
How to meet a girl: 1) Walk into a bar. 2) Shout “Heroes in a half shell.” 3) When a girl yells back “Turtle Power,” marry her.
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
We are living in a generation where Vampires are sparkly,Werevolves are gay and Witches wear leather pants.
The Bible is Christianity’s Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app
I don`t make a very good first impression, but if you hang around, my forty-third one is pretty cool.
I like dressing in a red polo shirt then going to Target & being rude to costumers
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed.
"There are singles in your area." - me telling a stripper she forgot some money on the floor
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!