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I woke up this morning and my "check liver" light was on.
Your eyes are so beautiful. If you look deep enough i can see my own reflection...
Sorry that most of my hilarious jokes are borderline inappropriate. And by sorry, I mean you`re welcome.
In an alternate universe cats feed humans Lean Cuisines while muttering "I don`t know how you eat that sh!t".
Here`s a list of helpful tips for meeting a great girl: 1. Don`t be me.
Feeding my kid cold pizza. They will be off to college soon and preparation is the key to success.
If you`re going to have opinions on my life, then I am assuming you will be paying some of the bills.
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
Remember, no matter how bad a day you may be having, no matter how sh!tty a situation you may be in... I`m feeling great. So it`s all good.
My doctor said I’m healthy enough for sex, just not attractive enough.
I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure a lot of economic problems could be solved by extending the McDonald`s breakfast menu back out to 11am.
"Well that can`t be right." - dogs watching us catching balls with our hands
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
If guys had periods, they´d brag about the size of their tampons.
I never finish anyth...............