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Everyone is gifted. But not everyone opens their present.
My first mistake was thinking she couldn`t hit a moving target.
Saying the word "awkward" in an awkward situation only makes it more awkward. Especially if you sing it.
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
Hello customer service, I ate two happy meals and I’m still not happy
As long as everything is exactly the way I want it. I`m totally flexible.
My life has a great cast, but I can’t really figure out the plot.
Sign said “WET PAINT” So I emptied my water bottle on it. I’m currently waiting on further instructions.
I went for a run tonight. Sure, it was a beer run, but I did break a sweat.
There`s nothing sadder then the look on my dogs face after he hears something hit the floor and discovers it`s only lettuce :(
Someone just called me normal, I`ve never been so insulted in all my life!
why don`t we get discounts for ringing up our own groceries in self checkout?
I love sleeping, but I never want to go to bed early.
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the sane one.
I can`t take this long distance relationship anymore.. Fridge, you`re coming to my room.