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I wasn`t even going for broke. But I got it!
School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
Procrastinating is just enjoying all the side quests in life whilst you delay the main quest story mission
Does everyone have that one dumb ass that finds you on Facebook and will not give up? Repeated friend requests, inbox messages, and follows my pages. It is driving me nuts. I understand at some point I will have to give in, but just because I am married to her doesn`t mean I have to like her, right?
Sometimes what sounds like opportunity knocking is actually disappointment leaving a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep.
Why is it that when you work very hard, you say you are working like a dog? Every dog I`ve ever known is lazy and sleeps 16 hours a day.
Did you know that doughnuts make your clothes shrink?
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
I need to find a job where I am paid solely on how awesome I am.
Fact: No one has ever "Jumped in the shower."
What`s the point of blurring out the middle finger on TV, like oh you`ve fooled me, what`s behind that blur? Is it a monkey? A pencil?
Looks like you have a lot on your mind. Do you wanna drink about it?
A great thing about being single is never having to erase your history tab.
Remember when you were a kid and all you would use the computer for was paint and space pinball?
I will vote for Donald Trump just to hear him tell Obama he`s fired!!