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I put "extremely organized" on my resume and I don`t even remember what folder I saved it in..
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
My greatest talent is being able to watch 5 years worth of a TV shows in one week.
ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
Walmart calls them self checkouts, I call them I might not pay for some of this.
Sure you can try and tell me what to do. Or you can keep your teeth.
It`s amazing how many people are diagnosed with a disease as soon as there`s a pill available for it.
Just so I`m sure to make friends, I like to walk in the bar carrying a handful of phone chargers.
WANTED: Someone to follow me around and whisper "You`re an adult" every few minutes.
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
I know u r but what am I ?
All i ever see on facebook is LBR, TBH, LMS, and all that other crap...
There are 2 kinds of people I can’t stand: Nosy people, and people who won’t tell me what in the hell is going on.
Here`s to all the kids who have never found their name on anything in a souvenir store
I like staying up insanely late but I also like getting 12 hours of sleep. See my dilemma?