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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
Sometimes Google should just come back with a message that says "trust me, you don`t want to know."
My safe word is letsgetmarried.
I’m probably single because I forgot to forward those chain messages from 2008.
Match dot com, but for socks.
I can tell you nice things but they`ll all be about me.
I was a huge tomboy. Like, I had barbies, but only because my ninja turtles needed bitches.
I don`t know why people freak out and run when they see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyway.
I`m flattered that you took time out from your lack of a life to judge mine.
Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?
This debate episode has to be the craziest Celebrity Apprentice I`ve ever seen!
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Ugh, stalkers are horrible. You`d think someone could`ve let me know I was out of toilet paper.
Sex Is Like Math: Add The Bed, Subtract The Clothes, Divide The Legs, And Pray To God You Don`t Multiply!
Of course I`m crazy, but that doesn`t mean I`m wrong