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If a guy runs his fingers through your hair, there is a 33.3% chance you are being used as a napkin.
Fighting is bad. Breaking up a fight between a douchebag and the bar owner is good. Thank God I`m a ninja.
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
Men look at boobs for the same reason women look at puppies in a cage, we just want to set them free.
I wonder if one day somebody will knock on my door and say to me, “Hey ,we have 7 mutual friends in Facebook; may I come in?"
Why do bras and batteries come in the same sizes?
I will never understand why my fridge has a drawing of a carrot on the beer drawer.
The weekend is just a bittersweet memory.... I won`t cry because it`s over, I`ll smile because for a few miles they believed I was the real bus driver.
In my experience, most arguments are caused by a misunderstanding of the fact that I`m right.
One out of every 4 Americans are suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they´re okay, then it´s you.
New Life Goal: Get a job where people ask me, "You actually get paid for doing this?"
I asked him about his weekend, but apparently what happens in vagueness, stays in vagueness.
This year’s box-office revenue is down 20 percent from last summer. I’m not sure why that is, but I`ll bet you there’s a documentary on Netflix about it.
Running behind is my cardio.