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What flavor is this Harlem Shake you speak of?
At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"
One thing I think the world can agree upon… Any day when you can stay in pajamas the whole time is a good day.
The difference between cheating on your wife and cheating on your taxes is if you tell the truth, the IRS still wants to f*ck you.
Just so you know, I am already planning on being an a$$hole tomorrow.
When I die I want Charlie Sheen’s life to flash before my eyes.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.
Finally in bed. No better time to start thinking about every possible thing that has or ever could happen.
I checked into a hotel this weekend. I told the girl I hoped the porn channel was disabled. She said "No, its just regular porn, you sicko"
Every day is just a new opportunity to eat pizza.
I’m pretty sure the whole “ladies first” thing was created by a guy that just wanted to check out a girl’s butt.
I live in fear of finding hidden cameras in my house & not being able to explain why I do all those random karate kicks directed at no one.
Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?