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The only reason I liked your post was because I was trying to clean a smudge off my screen.
I don`t like making plans for the day, because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
As a child, my mom told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
"Oh wow, it`s a fruit cake! I`m going to eat some of it right now" ...said no one ever.
Sometimes I find myself envious of how well Waldo can hide..
What if God is a woman. Not only will I be going to Hell, but I`ll never hear the end of it.
The only time I`ve ever early to anything is when I`m dropping my kids off to be watched by somebody else.
Why isn`t there a roomba that cuts grass? Probably some stupid law about sending a blade wielding robot out into the neighborhood.
You may think it`s bad grammar but I assure you it`s just laziness.
I call it a Cupcake Salad. And I don`t see how it`s any of your business.
Sometimes I really think I have my life together...and then I realize my underwear is on inside-out.
They`re all cop cars when you`re this high.
Nothing sadder than the look on my dogs face when I drop food from the table and they realize it`s lettuce.
I`ve been waiting all winter to complain about the summer heat