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I`ll never understand those people who say, "I mainly use facebook for my family." And I`m thinking to myself..."Umm...isn`t that what real life is for?"
I don’t care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it.
"You have the right to remain silent so as not to incriminate yourself" -- 5th Amendment, understood by nobody on Facebook.
If I wasn`t supposed to have vodka for breakfast they shouldn`t have made it taste so good with orange juice.
I had no plans on looking sexy today, but sh!t happens.
I take so many things with a grain of salt that I`m surprised I don`t have high blood pressure.
My credit score is just a picture of me crying in the front yard of a nice house.
Most women desire someone who makes them laugh and also feel safe, so basically a clown ninja.
I don`t have a police record ... but I think I do have a Sting cd around here somewhere.
facebook is the only book we read everyday.
Women use sex to get stuff, men lose stuff because of sex.
I wish I could pick which brain cells the alcohol kills....There`s ALOT of crap I wish I could forget about.....
True self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn.
There are two types of people in this world, those with common sense and those who have to pee on the electric fence for themselves
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them