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You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
You’re the reason I wake up everyday... Just kidding I have a job!!
If you have a dog grooming business and it’s not called “Doggie Style” then something is wrong with you.
I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh!t together by the age I am now.
I`m home by myself this evening. My wife is out at Kohl`s buying another load of laundry.
The longest 10 seconds of my day is when I have to hold down the button on an electronic thing to turn it off
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
What idiot named them nostrils instead of scent vents?
I`m 42 years old and I still have no idea what I would do if a kangaroo entered my bedroom in the middle of the night.
If we sneezed Windex instead of spit I bet my neighbors would be cool with me standing at their window.
Im having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... alright by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
This day needs more yesterday.
Is it just me, or would those movies had been far scarier if they were titled "Monday the 13th"
The best part about growing old with you is that I`ll always be the younger one.
Would buy you a drink but I would be jealous of the glass.